Psst.. hey it's me Willie - you know the poor long suffering hound that has been charged with looking after Medicine Mama.
Who would have thought it - I'm a blogger now. It all kind of started with the gals over at Prois and the great me or BunBun debate. Next thing you know this human is calling that human and well, now I'm a blogger!
It's a good thing though, because I'm sure you've heard - I'm in love with this gorgeous high class blondie named Lily. And Lily has certain expectations, so if I'm gong to have a hope in hell of keeping her, I had to find some way to make honest working dog of myself, and stop all this "gee ain't life a party" business.
That Lily - she's a beauty and she's loads of fun, but she won't tolerate a deadbeat.
So again this human called that human and the next thing you know I have a career that hopefully will take Lily and I to some pretty exciting places. All because I'm a big mouth tell all the secrets I know fella who has a developing Facebook addiction.
Lily and I have made a concious decison to remain childless. Travel and our expected fame will be much easier managed without some pack of little bumper chewers nipping at our heels and Lily will retain her beuatiful girlish figure.
(Seriously have you seem some of those girl dogs after puppies; all droopy and dangly and saggy? YUCKO)
Besides, we are a socially and morally conscious duo and the shelters are full of great dogs who just need some love. No need for us to be adding to the over population crisis - although......I am convinced that any children we would have would have been stellar.
Speaking of shelters and dogs that just need love; My very best friend in the whole wide world, Buddy came from a shelter. Well, shelter is too kind of a word. He was on doggie death row when Medicine Mama brought him home.
I've seen the photos of Buddy during his first days and Holy Moses was he a scruffy looking mess - all bony and big patches of missing fur, and crazy as a loon. Serious call the behaviorist crazy. Lily wouldn't have given that train wreck the time of day.
But Medicine Mama nursed him, and loved him , and worked with him and he's a pretty good sort these days. He's told me some pretty sad and traumatic tales, but he says there's nothing love won't cure.
I have to argue that point with him though. Cause he's still a little nutty.
I know lots of people were pretty mean to him when was out there scratching around as stray, and that left some scars and a general distrust of humans. ( Hey I watch Dr. Phil! I know these things!)
But really Buddy - a word of advice - not all humans are bad. He's a loyal guy. Insanely loyal, and will not leave Medicine Mama's side.
Take Buddy away from home and he just freaks completely out - he attaches his big old 150 pound built like an angus bull body to Medicine Mama and NO ONE and I do mean NO ONE is allowed near her.
He really has to get over this, or I'm writing Dr. Phil next and dragging him there.
Now Buddy doesn't really get aggressive, he doesn't snap and growl, but he body blocks. And he's got a heck of big body for that blocking. He takes grown men off their feet with one hip check, brute that he is.
Which is pretty much exactly what he did to our friend Jason the other day. Oh it was a terrible confusing thing - Medicine Mama is still blaming me for the whole affair.
ALL I did was go visit the neighbors. She freaked out. (She and Buddy could both stand a day with Dr. Phil I think.) Our Friend Jason came to help hunt me up.
I might have a been little overzealous in my response to "Here! Heel! NOW! "
I might have knocked Medicine Mama on her ever increasing fanny.
All I know is one minute things were fine and the next that crazy Buddy is trying eat our friend Jason alive. He just lost it when Jason bent over to help One-Too-Many-Trips To- The DQ up from the ground. And believe me, Buddy has a mouth that's so big he can carry a VW Beetle around it. I've seen him do it. Honest.
Thankfully, he snapped out of it When Medicine Mama yelled at him or poor Jason would be missing an arm.
Took the heat off my roaming butt for a few minutes though. (Thanks my friend!)
So I had to explain to Buddy that sometimes humans have to help her, and he just might as well get over it. I'm not sure he's buying it, but we''l see the next time Jason comes to visit. If he ever comes back again!
All I can tell you in closing today is this - Buddy has really taught me how to help Medicine Mama, so I feel like I have to teach him to like other humans. We'll see if this works out or if he single toothedly runs off every good friend Medicine Mama has!
Later Gators - I think I hear a squirrel!