Friday, September 30, 2011

I Have Been HAD!!!!'s me .. Willie

I am just a little miffed at all of you humans  today. (a few canines too  -yoo hoo Lily? Fat Tire? Wrinkles?) 

I have been had with this whole trip to Dr. Tim's this week.

Sure everyone did all that explaining about being a responsible fellow, walking funny, it won't hurt a bit - but did anyone tell me I would be on lock down for two weeks??

Oh noooo ..not one single soul. Not one single  canine, feline or rabbit (that means you BunBun) friend bothered to tell me this either.


Ohhhh..the humanity...

Yesterday I went happily skipping down the steps with Medicine Mama - she sent me back up the steps! I was trapped in that prison of a porch while she went off to CHASE DUCKS!


And I had to watch her drive out of the driveway with nary a second glance in my direction. And believe me - my little head poking through bars of my porch prison was a pretty pitiful sight.

No playing in the water for two muddy jumping and one told me THAT part- I might not have been so cheerful on Tuesday had I known this part of things.

To just throw gas on the fire - MM is being overly careful with me and won't let me go snooping around in the woods either! She is of the opinion I'll do something silly like leap over a log or find a one  square inch puddle or something. She can be sooo obsessive about the craziest things.

Well, all I can say is; I  hope she realizes how much she needs me when she  can't haul her too many trips to the dairy queen fanny up some hill. So there.

Lockdown for two solid  weeks....
Ohhhh..the humanity.....

Later Gators-
I'm just going to sulk and stare through these prison bars...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Learning About Beer

Psst's me Willie..

I made it through D Day with flying colors. Really it wasn't so bad. The worst part was having to be quiet and restful, and stay in my kennel.

But I am such a charming fellow - and everyone at the clinic loves me. I chatted them up and showed them that I am healthy and strong and have energy to spare.
The even told my fuzzy human that I was certainly friendly and enthusiastic about life.

Did you know they give you something that makes you loopy?? I mean LOOOOPY. More loopy than beer.

I know - I know - you are all wondering what a good guy like me knows about beer. I guess I'd better explain. I wouldn't want my beloved Lily to think she's getting some drunk deadbeat- I suspect she has a zero tolerance policy on drunks and deadbeats. 

Part of my job is to fetch things up for Medicine Mama to save her steps, and help her out when she's not walking so good.
Well that fuzzy human in the house thinks I should fetch things up for him too. Secretly I think he just wants to show me off to his friends - because well - I am a talented dog!

So the fuzzy human decided I should fetch up beer for him.
Medicine Mama is not a big fan of all the beer business..

Seemed like every time I fetched up a beer I had a little bit of a hard mouth and poked  holes in the can - those are the flimsiest things -

Perhaps I slurped up a little, because truthfully (don't tell Medicine Mama, she'll be sending me off for an intervention next) it tasted pretty good!

But somehow before the training session was over and I figured out I should soft mouth those cans  I was a little loopy..

Medicine Mama even yelled at the fuzzy human - something along the lines of me being enough trouble (I am not trouble!!!) without me being drunk, hmmm so that's what this loopy feeling is called.

Needless to say - I don't fetch up beer cans anymore. Darn it.

Later Gators -
Medicine Mamas having a rough morning - I 'm off to be cute and entertaining!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Gulp! It's D-Day!;s me..Willie

I can't sleep - we are just a few hours away from  you know -
That great life altering - and heavy on the altering part - moment.
Yes- Yes - Yes I understand the whole be a responsible fella part of this. My beloved Lily tells me that it's the right thing to do and I trust Lily infinitely -
but FELLAS!!!!
Yes, you males out there...this is stress provoking!
Don't misunderstand me - I like Dr. Tim and the whole crew there- they are all really nice humans who take very good care of me and all the animals in our neighborhood.
Nice is important in humans. Remember - Lily and I don't do mean!
But I am having trouble with being confused about humans again - If they are such nice humans, and Medicine Mama loves me so much WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??????
Medicine Mama says it's a good thing and will keep us all safe, well and happy.
Happy just ain't what I'm thinking right now.

Later Gators..
Gonna go howl at the moon,

Friday, September 23, 2011

I Just Don't Get It

Pssst..hey it's me Willie....

You know humans you are a confusing bunch. See - it was raining all day yesterday, and usually that makes Medicine Mama happy - she's a firm believer that rain brings good things. ( The woman is obsessed with mushrooms I tell ya - we really should call her Mushroom Mama)

Those hen of the woods simply would not fit in my packs. She had to carry those herself.

But she was in tizzy , had some bee in her bonnet about this Jeff Foiles guy. Now I've never really met a human I didn't like - Because I am just that likable, friendly sort you know -

But,  I read over her shoulder, and this Foiles fella- I don't think I like him much. He sounds mean.
I don't like mean people, and my beloved Lily - she has a zero tolerance policy on mean.

So we had a  long day at the desk yesterday - and since I am supposed to just lay there calmly at her feet while she works, I had a LOOOOONG day.
Thank goodness she guzzles coffee like there's no tomorrow, and that makes her get up and race to potty periodically. Other wise I'd have been stuck under that darn desk all day!
See Buddy taught me - lay down when sits down, get up when she gets up. And he thought I wasn't paying attention...HA! 

I tried every I am a cute and fun loving fella trick I knew to distract her.
Even rolling around with all those fun cables in my mouth.
By the way BunBun - what is it with these humans their obsessive behavior and attachment  to a bunch of black wire? I've heard your humans are the same way when you chew on those nifty little coils and strings of plastic.
Humans - pfft - you  pick the silliest things to get excited about.

Now here's my confusion - Crabby Pants growled at me every time I came back in from my own potty breaks (okay, okay, there were a couple I faked so I could chase the squirrels) because I was wet and messy and muddy and was just being me out there loving all things wet, smelly, and goopy.
Well, maybe I should have left the crawdads outside. Evidently she likes them better on a fork than on her desk. Again - confusing - when exactly am I and am I not supposed to retrieve crawdads Crabby Pants?

We need a job description here or something. I bet BunBun has one.

I am a water dog - I am a duck dog - rain is water, and ducks usually involve a little too, along with some mud. So, now when am I supposed to be out there racing around in the rain, mud, and muck and when aren't I? Hmmm


And now today she's hyped up about the mushrooms and we're headed out to the river bottoms..and you know what.. she's going to SEND me into mud and muck and rain. On purpose. And tell me what a good dog I am.

See what I mean?
You humans are a confusing bunch some days .

Later Gators...
Gotta go drag Medicine Mama up and down the levees

Thursday, September 22, 2011

My Buddy, My Pal

Psst.. it's me..Willie....
Really-Willie- Tell EVERYTHING you know why don't ya?

Boy did I make Buddy mad! He thinks I maybe made him look psychotic. He wasn't impressed when I told him not psychotic, just garden variety crazy.

My Buddy..My Pal

No sense of humor some days with that big moose.

So, cause Buddy really is my very,  very, best friend in the whole wide world, I thought I'd better hop to it - (thinking of you BunBun. Get it? Hop? C'mon BunBun work with me here...) - and rectify things.

After all, he didn't eat me when I was little, and carried me around in his mouth .
So I'm figuring I owe the big ol bull one. Remember? He's got a mouth a VW Beetle will fit in.
I don't think Buddy was overjoyed they day I arrived
You wouldn't believe the things you can find if you look in his big mouth

First I've got to explain this whole body blocking business of his. Medicine Mama says I'm like an unmanned D9 dozer running amok through the woods.

Hello?????  I am a dog that's what we there are so many smells in the woods and -


Oops I was distracted there a minute.

Well see,  for all my plundering , plowing,  path clearing fun - Buddy on the other hand is like a flippin' floodwall. The water has got to get pretty darned high for it to get Medicine Mama.

Its simple - She needs a wall in front of her or the pea brain would fall off a cliff.
I'm serious - she has the attention span of a gnat!
So that's what Buddy does - he keeps her from falling off the cliff, down the steps, out the door, and into a heap. He body blocks her every time and keeps her from hitting the dirt.

I've been watching him, and
~ Buddy, I have too been paying attention! Now shut up I'm working ~
Lord, he's still crabby.

Anyhow, I've been learning to do that and Buddy is helping me. Because Buddy doesn't like people.Because Buddy hates to leave home.  He growled at me and snapped those teeth over that doesn't like people part.
Buddy says he likes people.

Yeah sure Buddy, and Jason will vouch for what a people liking guy you are.

But to keep him happy, I'll explain it for him. I want to keep him happy cause Mr. Is-That-A-Black Angus -Bull-Or-A-Dog could squish me like a fly. He could snap me like a twig.

You betcha  I'm sucking up here. I'm too young to die!

Buddy is my very, very, best friend in the whole wide world

Buddy does like people just fine. It's large numbers of people, it's too many noises, to many distractions, it's going to town, it's too much ..just too much for the big guy to process. He can't decide what he's supposed to block from Medicine Mama first.

And that makes his big old blockhead hurt.

So, Buddy stays home, and Buddy body blocks everything and everybody that could hurt Medicine Mama -
So that whole eat Jason alive thing (that was so NOT my fault bu the way) well, that was just Buddy doing his job. And Jason, he's really, really sorry that he tried to -

 ~Rabbit! ~
HeyBunBun??? Is that you...wait up.......


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Well Whaddya Know.. I'm A Blogger!

Psst.. hey it's me Willie - you know the poor long suffering hound  that has been charged with looking after Medicine Mama.

Who would have thought it - I'm a blogger now.  It all kind of started with the gals over at Prois and the great me or BunBun debate. Next thing you know this human is calling that human and well, now I'm a blogger!

It's a good thing though, because I'm sure you've heard - I'm in love with this gorgeous high class blondie named Lily. And Lily has certain expectations, so if I'm gong to have a hope in hell of keeping her, I had to find some way to make honest working dog of myself, and stop all this "gee ain't life a party" business.

That Lily - she's a beauty and she's loads of fun, but she won't tolerate a deadbeat.

So again  this human called that human and the next thing you know I have a career that hopefully will take Lily and I to some pretty exciting places. All because I'm a big mouth tell  all the secrets I know fella who has a developing Facebook addiction.

Lily and I have   made a concious decison to remain childless. Travel and our expected fame will be  much easier managed without some pack of little bumper chewers nipping at our heels and Lily will retain her beuatiful girlish figure.

(Seriously have you seem some of those girl dogs after puppies; all droopy and dangly and saggy?  YUCKO)

Besides,  we are a socially and morally conscious duo and the shelters are full of great dogs who just need some love. No need for us to be adding to the over population crisis - although......I am convinced that any children we would have would have been stellar.

Speaking of shelters and dogs that just need love; My very best friend in the whole wide world, Buddy  came from a shelter. Well, shelter is too kind of a word. He was on doggie death row when Medicine Mama brought him home.

I've seen the photos of Buddy  during his first days and Holy Moses was he a scruffy looking mess - all bony and big patches of missing fur, and crazy as a loon. Serious call the behaviorist crazy. Lily wouldn't have given that train wreck the time of day.

But Medicine Mama nursed him, and loved him , and worked with him and he's a pretty good sort these days. He's told me some pretty sad and traumatic  tales, but he says there's nothing  love won't cure.
I have to argue that point with him though. Cause he's still a little nutty.

I know lots of people were pretty mean to him when was out there scratching  around as stray, and that left some scars and a general distrust of humans. ( Hey I watch Dr. Phil! I know these things!)

But really Buddy - a word of  advice - not all humans are bad. He's a loyal guy. Insanely loyal, and will not leave Medicine Mama's side.


Take Buddy away from home and he just freaks completely out - he attaches his big old 150 pound built like an angus bull body to Medicine Mama and NO ONE  and I do mean NO ONE is allowed near her.
He really has to get over this, or I'm writing Dr. Phil next and dragging  him there.

Now Buddy doesn't really get aggressive, he doesn't snap and growl, but he body blocks. And he's got a heck of big body for that blocking. He takes grown men off their feet with one hip check,  brute that he is.
Which is pretty much exactly what he did to our friend Jason the other day. Oh it was a terrible confusing thing - Medicine Mama is still blaming me for the whole affair.

ALL I did was go visit the neighbors. She freaked out. (She and Buddy could both stand a day with Dr. Phil I think.)  Our Friend Jason came to help hunt me up.

I might have a been little overzealous in my response to "Here! Heel! NOW! "

I might have knocked Medicine Mama on her ever increasing fanny.

All I know is one minute things were fine and the next that crazy Buddy is trying eat our friend Jason alive. He just lost it when Jason bent over to help One-Too-Many-Trips To- The DQ up from the ground. And believe me, Buddy has a mouth that's so big he can carry a VW Beetle around it. I've seen him  do it. Honest.

Thankfully,  he snapped out of it When Medicine Mama yelled  at him or poor Jason would be missing an arm. 

Took the heat off my roaming butt for a few minutes though. (Thanks  my friend!)

So I had to explain to Buddy that sometimes humans have to help her, and he just might as well get over it. I'm not sure he's buying it, but we''l see the next time Jason comes to visit. If he ever comes back again!

All I can tell you in closing today is this - Buddy has really taught me how to help Medicine Mama,  so I feel like I have to teach him to like other humans. We'll see if this works out or if  he  single toothedly runs off every  good friend Medicine Mama has!

Later Gators - I think I hear a squirrel!
~ Willie