Saturday, January 14, 2012

No Birds

Psst.... hey it's me Willie......
No,  contrary to belief I haven't been on some electronic lockdown. In fact surprisingly enough I haven't really been in much trouble lately.
I have a confession - I think I have been depressed.
At least overwhelmingly melacholy, and little confused  on top of it.
This was supposed to be my first duck hunting season - oh I was going to impress the socks off all those fellas..
I know they think I'm a big galoot,  but I retrieve like a champion!

Sadly - I made no big impressions this season. 

First off we had delayed start.. that crazy human got all sliced and diced and whined and carried on like she was going to croak or something. My pal Piper..she was out there snatching up ducks and even geese.. but oh no.. I was stuck inside playing nursemaid.

Finally the human drags her carcass to the blind and all I heard  was no bird.. no bird..  ( seems to me there sure were a lot of shotgun shells wasted) no bird, my paw. Piper got birds.

Frankly I've heard no bird until I don't care if I ever hear it again.

The human and I have burned up a thousand miles and all I hear is no birds.. no birds..
She kept saying no birds...
Her friends kept saying  - no birds...
Hell the internet birds.
What is this no birds business?

I read all the predictions, the hatch reports, all the news that  is the news in the duck world. ( I am a prepared duck dog you know!)  and everything said there would be millions of ducks.
Our esteemed DNR Director championed for season date changes and zone boundary changes, that all pointed to an even better season ahead. I was excited!
But there were no birds.


Some say it was a freakishly warm winter that kept all of them up north ( I think that means in Wisconsin and Minnesota) some are trying to blame the season and zone changes, but I don't think that mattered. Even we'd had the same as last year, THERE WERE NO BIRDS!

So here I sit... duck season is over in my zone..the human is sucking up herbal tea and nyquil, and I have no birds to my credit. NO freaking birds.

I think it was a conspiracy.

Later Gators.....
I'm going to see if I can find a sky carp; surely they are out there.

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