Safety First Humans! Safety First!

Psst hey.. it's me Willie...

I know.. I know.. I've been a slacker about blogging, but hey that crazy human chick has been dragging my fanny all over hill and dale - hither and yon. Just exhausts a poor fellow,  all that aimless wandering that she she does.

I was all set to tell you about our wandering  and shed hunting adventures, (cause lord knows she is still insisting that antlers are dropping already pffft.. they are not.) when our friend Ms. Gigi from Rainforest Coastal Labs sent this photo of a horror she stumbled upon:

Oh Holy Milk Bones! My heart stopped, my stomach hurt, my eyes burned, and I was as woozy as the poor dog that had to ride there with exhaust, rocks and dust  billowing up his snout. Could that be real? Humans - I know you guys can be foolish, but this?

Oh my.... for the love canine creatures...I have to say WTF???.  Okay, that's gonna get my mouth washed out with soap, but really..that's all I could think.

Thinking of my  humans less than stellar driving abilities - seriously she drives like a mad woman, turned loose on a Nascar track - I got even more woozy.

Thinking back to when she got rear ended  at the stoplight (yeah yeah  - disclaimer -  not her fault) I got a whole lot more woozy from that mental picture. Traumatized is good word to use. What if I had been in a crate like that  just hanging on the back bumper? Oh the horror that thought brought to mind. Frankly, makes me queasy just writing that.

So I'm on a mission now to spread the word - SAFETY FIRST! Please humans - transport us safely!

Like any good writer I decided I'd better do some research about this dog transport business. My pals at the hunt tests have all manner of nifty boxes, crates, trailers,  you name it.  My hero Mighty Timaeus - well his human even crawled in his dog trailer to make sure it was fit for him! Now that's my kind of gal!  Then again, she might have done it to make sure he would fit because they don't call him Big Ass for nothing.  But  I digress - let's look at some safe ways to transport us courageous canines. After all we're riding with YOU HUMANS and that alone makes us courageous!

I always thought this trailer looks like it could withstand an atomic blast..

First I checked at GunDog - I always like their information, and trust it. Of course they had a great article about the different styles of trailers and how to transport;  you can read all about trailers  here  . As usual there was more at Gun Dog magazine that I can't resist sharing - they do know dogs over there! Here's another good article about traveling with gun dogs.

We're seat belt fans here at our place, for humans and dogs. Here's a good look at why  leaving me loose during all my travels would NOT be the best idea. The human says it's because I keep trying to drive, but if you had to ride with  her you'd want to drive too.  I keep hoping the nice folks at Ruff Rider will send me one of their newest models to try out.  I hear from my dog colleagues that they are pretty much the be all and end all of doggie seat belt systems.

Whether you choose a trailer, a box, a crate or a seat belt restraint system - above all, make sure it's safely secured. I really don't think any of my four footed pals or I want to experience flying out of a truck bed (in or out of a crate). Contrary to popular belief - that does not make us better behaved truck bed riders..it just makes us bruised and battered.

So humans,  take us along..takes us everywhere.. but take us safely!

Later Gators..gotta go beg Ruff Rider for a new harness! Think this face will work?

PLEASE transport all dogs safely! I'm begging you!

The Pet Door Debacle

Psst..hey - it's me Willie;

Well friends, I'm in deep you know what again..all over that silly pet door.

Back when I was wee little ball of fluff - a very cute ball of yellow fluff I might add - the fuzzy human worked hard all one Sunday to put in a giant pet door for Dolly, Buddy, and I. Of course it had to be a giant one.. you guys have seen Buddy right?

Well, since we have had no ducks, and the crazy woman has been a little lax in keeping me occupied, I had to create some of my own fun this weekend.

Did you know those flappy things on the pet door stretch? WOOOHEEE great fun.. grab the bottom of the flappy thing and PUUUUUULLLL boy does it snap back and bounce!

Maybe..just maybe, I pulled a little too hard, a little too much and welllll....the whole works came flying off and landed on the deck..

OOPSIE

I think I would have gotten by wth it if the fuzzy human wasn't so darned cold natured.. and the wind and rain hadn't started.

I thought perhaps my best course of action would be to hide the evidence, and hope that moose dog Buddy got blamed for being too big to get through and subsequently wrecking it, but just as I was busy stuffing the faulty (Yes I say faulty! The manufacturer should have allowed for this kind of fun!) flap into the  shrubs I heard the fuzzy human shriek "WILLIE You little pissant!"

I hate when he calls me a pissant - really I'm a better creature than those annoying  little black bugs. I also hate it because it's usually followed up with a boot in my behind and I was pretty sure this was going to be one of those boot in the behind deals.

I fetched that faulty flap right into his lap. He was not amused nor pleased with my outstanding retrieving abilities.  Sheesh he is a crab.

There was wailing and gnashing of teeth, lots of expletives that I will spare your delicate ears - seriously things I shouldn't have heard; I am still in my formative years!

When all was said and done, and I had been duly chastised, the faulty flap was restored with about half a roll of gorilla tape.

See there - problem solved. No need for that boot in the behind business.


Later Gators..I've got to go perform some "testing" of the stretchiness and durability of Gorilla tape!

~Just for the record though - I'm staying mum about who ate  the roll of gorilla tape that was casually left on the floor by the pet door. Just remember friends..Buddy is the one with food issues ;) ~

I Have the Nose..That Knows!

Psst..hey..it's me Willie....

MUD!!! WATER!!! YAY!!!!

Freedom at last! Thankfully all that silly business about having to stay quiet, don't get wet. don't go the woods - Whew! It's finally over! I am able to go swimming, running amok, and mushroom hunting with Medicine Mama again.

I just love stirring  up the mud and water- I'm free again!

I really need to  be out there with her. She is such a klutz and gets her self into the biggest fixes when I am not along to supervise. For instance - just the other day she took a faceplant into the brush pile.

STICK IN  THE EYE! STICK IN THE EYE!!!

 Would have never happened if she'd had me along...I know my job is to look after her. Just sayin'... she ought to know better than to take off without me. Ahem. Thankfully she didn't really rip anything to shreds- I am not up for being a seeing eye dog. Oh no.. I draw the line at that. Well maybe.. okay fine - you are all correct; I would be a seeing eye dog if that's what she needed. But really - you want to try and tell her she needs one?  Hmm.. Didn't think so.

So anyway - Back to all the fun and mayhem - er - retriever activity the last few days.
First day out we got to go run around with our friends Adam and Piper; well they really are more than just our friends, Piper is my cousin and Adam is just plain special.

See; this is exactly why I like Adam - He'll do the heavy lifting for me. Have you ever seen so much FUNGUS?

I like it when he goes along, takes a little heat off me and he helps her lots so I can go play with Piper and just be a dog. That's important you know - we caregivers need some time to ourselves.

Piper! I'm Free!! I'm Free!!! Lets go Cousin! I smell turkey  poop ahead!

Piper- Tell your human to mellow out- we are waterdogs and this isn't hurting a thing...

Adam didn't believe that I'd been playing find the mushroom with her..but she's been putting this crazy smelly stuff on one of my chompers, smells like fungus to me peee eeew..makes me sneeze sometimes too.

But I know that it's evidently some big deal because when she told me to hunt em up- find the shroom - she got really excited when I found one of those big ugly piles of yes..fungus.

And she thinks I get excited and eat weird things? Would you look at this  pile of fungus? BLECH

Now if it was something dead and smelly- she'd growl at me, if it was goose poop, she'd growl at me.. but if its bones or fungus..those are good things. Who would know? - she is kind of a weirdo you know. 

While we are on this retrieving/hunt em up  subject- why  fungus ? I happen to know we have some perfectly good chukars..I saw them....when do I get to retrieve them? Huh?  Isn't that what I am supposed be after? Huh? BIRDS????

Yep I have a nose that knows - it knows she really needs to clean out this stinky car too!

 

So anyhow I'm a happy guy - because I have a nose that knows! If it makes her happy, it makes me happy. But Lily my love- would you please speak to your human about this craziness of hers and Medicine Mama's that involved sticking their heads in a skunk hole? Really - We know better and we are just dogs. Oh yeah - that's right, we are dogs with noses that know. Noses that know better than to go sticking them in skunk holes! Think we missed that teachable moment Lily? ?

Later Gators - gotta go find more  fungus ( MM should really just  look in the basement---my nose says there's plenty down there.)

It's Been A Great Summer

Psst..hey ..it's me Willie ...

Finally! I have gotten that Wild Woman slowed down and regained my access to the computer. Whew - she's been running around for last week like rabbit  with a pack of hounds hot it on it's trail. ( Oh BunBun calm down-it's just an expression- really - they'd  never set the hounds on you..and if anyone did.. I'd create a diversion..honest)

I've been reading up on this blogging business, because I know how expensive Dolly, Buddy and I can get. They may not care about bringing home the bacon, but I on the other hand insist on doing my part around here.

Remember?  My beloved Lily has that zero tolerance policy on deadbeats?

So in order to improve my skills as a blogger I've been hanging out and reading over Medicine Mamas shoulder when she visits The Outdoor Bloggers Network, there's good stuff there fellow bloggers..seriously you can take advice from a dog, just don't tell your friends and family I'm your adviser - because my schedule is getting a little full these days; and they might think you are as nutty as my human. 


Now this Outdoor Bloggers Network place has these nifty prompts for those who have writers block or need a boost in their creative mojo that seem to very helpful to the humans out there in the blogging world.

Just for the record - I rarely have a problem with having something to say - but the prompts are fun.

So the most recent one was about our favorite photos from this summer, Hah That's a piece of cake! We all know my human as files and files and files of photos.

Without further adieu - here are some of my favorite times from this summer.

~This is not proof that I am an  overachiever retriever - I just couldn't pick just one is all...~

The absolute best part of summer was meeting our hero The Hunters Wife! We  got her out on a boat with flying carp landing at her delicate pink feet!

My human is always happy when she shoots fish..and I get to play in the water! 

Medicine Mama and our best friend Adam at Ferne Clyffe State Park - note the water ;)

Meeting and training with my new friend Hershey and his human Madison

Fishing with our pal Tater 

My new friend and training partner Molly  - even if her human does have that scary  "cop voice" he's really a nice guy

Playing at Silver Creek Hunt Club with Mia, Nes, Piper and Beau while our humans build the new club house

Later Gators...
Medicine Mama's chomping at the bit to go find mushrooms..AGAIN
Willie

I Just Don't Get It

Pssst..hey it's me Willie....

You know humans you are a confusing bunch. See - it was raining all day yesterday, and usually that makes Medicine Mama happy - she's a firm believer that rain brings good things. ( The woman is obsessed with mushrooms I tell ya - we really should call her Mushroom Mama)

Those hen of the woods simply would not fit in my packs. She had to carry those herself.

But she was in tizzy , had some bee in her bonnet about this Jeff Foiles guy. Now I've never really met a human I didn't like - Because I am just that likable, friendly sort you know -

But,  I read over her shoulder, and this Foiles fella- I don't think I like him much. He sounds mean.
I don't like mean people, and my beloved Lily - she has a zero tolerance policy on mean.

So we had a  long day at the desk yesterday - and since I am supposed to just lay there calmly at her feet while she works, I had a LOOOOONG day.
Thank goodness she guzzles coffee like there's no tomorrow, and that makes her get up and race to potty periodically. Other wise I'd have been stuck under that darn desk all day!
See Buddy taught me - lay down when sits down, get up when she gets up. And he thought I wasn't paying attention...HA! 

I tried every I am a cute and fun loving fella trick I knew to distract her.
Even rolling around with all those fun cables in my mouth.
By the way BunBun - what is it with these humans their obsessive behavior and attachment  to a bunch of black wire? I've heard your humans are the same way when you chew on those nifty little coils and strings of plastic.
Humans - pfft - you  pick the silliest things to get excited about.

Now here's my confusion - Crabby Pants growled at me every time I came back in from my own potty breaks (okay, okay, there were a couple I faked so I could chase the squirrels) because I was wet and messy and muddy and was just being me out there loving all things wet, smelly, and goopy.
Well, maybe I should have left the crawdads outside. Evidently she likes them better on a fork than on her desk. Again - confusing - when exactly am I and am I not supposed to retrieve crawdads Crabby Pants?

We need a job description here or something. I bet BunBun has one.

I am a water dog - I am a duck dog - rain is water, and ducks usually involve a little too, along with some mud. So, now when am I supposed to be out there racing around in the rain, mud, and muck and when aren't I? Hmmm

EXPLANATION NEEDED HUMANS!

And now today she's hyped up about the mushrooms and we're headed out to the river bottoms..and you know what.. she's going to SEND me into mud and muck and rain. On purpose. And tell me what a good dog I am.

See what I mean?
You humans are a confusing bunch some days .

Later Gators...
Gotta go drag Medicine Mama up and down the levees
Willie