Oh Holy Milk Bones folks has it ever been a trying time for me the last month or so. Medicine Mama got breasted out like a goose- they called it something else, but I still think that's what they did. I had to be on my very best behavior, she had these things... these tubes everywhere.. and they smelled funny.. (seriously I don't want to gross everyone out- but they smelled like blood) now that was a little too weird for this guy. I was absolutely forbidden to sniff, lick or otherwise explore all that stuff hanging around her. Honest - I wouldn't have chewed on it any of it but gosh - it was weird.
And speaking of weird - just between us- that crazy woman is nutty enough without a butt load of pain meds. Sheesh I have never seen so much crying out of her in my life - frankly; she never cries. Medicine Mama sure made up for that no crying business though..for two solid weeks if she wasn't sleeping she was crying - no matter how many cute tricks I pulled she still cried. I put antlers, chewies, bumpers, everything I could find - including a couple of black birds and a mouse I caught in her bed. NOTHING helped. I probably started retaining water from too much salt I licked so many tears off her face.
Let us not forget all the fetching and getting and - well jeez- I was beginning to feel like an indentured servant- she couldn't get any thing for herself. And crabby...whooooeeee... who cares if the socks I brought her didn't match? The woman has never worn matching socks in her life and NOW it's a big deal?
Thank all doggy fates, gods, karma whatever your preference may be - for my friend Cop Voice Jason.
I heard his truck hit the driveway, and I knew he was there to save me! OH he was wonderful.. I just raced right to him and hopped in that big ol truck of his - it was heaven! Even the truck smelled like ducks and mud and cruddy water.
Mr. Cop Voice took me to his lake and oh it was heavenly, all he wanted me to fetch up was birds and bumpers.. no whining, no crying, no funny smelling tubes and bandages.. just plain good dog fun. Just us guys..no whiny girls. Although, he is a little testy about that whole stop, drop, and roll thing when he blows that whistle. Let's just say my butt will hit the ground every time I hear it now. I hate to ruin his reputation as some mean ass long arm of the law guy..but he really is good to me, and I would have needed Medicine Mama's medicine if hadn't been for him saving me and taking me out to play.
Then - after I worked , and worked, and worked so hard while she was down and out, she finally suits up and heads to find birds - Did I get to go?????
OH HELL NO... Mia went...Piper went... but I, her faithful companion, guard dog, and slave was left behind..peering sadly and dejectedly through the porch rails. Evidently not sadly enough and dejectedly enough because she didn't even look back when she left the driveway.
Oh sure.. she tried explaining it all away with some crazy story about doctors orders and I was too big and rowdy.
I am not rowdy. I am exuberant. So there.
Like she'd been following her doctors anyway.. I showed her.. I sulked and snorted ( I am a very good snorter when I'm aggravated) for two whole days. And just to make my point - I drug the mattress off her futon and stuck it under the dining room table. Trust me, even I get a little vengeful when I'm pushed too far.
But yay for her and yay for me - we are without those doctors, and tubes and restrictions and FINALLLLLY I got to go roam around town with her again yesterday .
Just for the record I was on my very best behavior everywhere we went. I charmed them at the library - I charmed Aunt Sue, I impressed the other ladies on the walking track.. I was a star!
All I can say is life is getting back to normal, I am not fetching my tail off 24 hours a day anymore and I can actually find the time to keep you humans in the know and blog again.
You humans... you sure can be lots of work.
Later gators... I'm going to fetch up her boots and we are going SOMEWHERE! Even if I have to drive!